I had two dreams last night. Or perhaps nightmares you'd call them.
At first I awoke in a frenzy. The kind of uncomfortable state you're in for a few moments when you're not sure where you are, what happened or if what you just dreamed was real or not.
Instantly a million thoughts flooded my mind. Thoughts referring to those ever constant questions we try and debate with ourselves like "why?", "how?", or "why are you doing this to me?"
"Why are you doing this to me?"
I thought some more for a few moments.
I tried to sit there and evaluate the scenes of my visions in my mind as if I knew how to determine and judge the situation.
I have had terrible nightmares before and I have prayed constantly for those evil spirits to leave my mind. The two dreams I had last night were vivid scenes that brought me back to my past and feelings I would so love to forget.
And after more thinking I realized, 'This is not from God. It CANNOT be. Evil thoughts and reminders are terrible acts of the enemy. And he does NOT rule my life.
I sat and invited God's rest to enter the room. I lit candles and prayed and played a song that I am incorporating as the theme song of my life: 'Humble and Kind by Tim McGraw."
{If you are wise and understand God's ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom.} James 3:13 NLT
I love this scripture because it tells us that being humble is directly tied to being wise. When we draw near to God, He will draw near to us and we will know what voice is His.
When I awoke from these dreams I had the same thought. Do I have enough wisdom in the Spirit? Yes, we can argue it takes time or is a life long journey to grow in, but am I already on that path?
Ever since returning from my trip to Oklahoma I have thought and prayed so long over the ever familiar "God's calling."
I have a prayer and am waiting for it to be answered, however I also have an equally concerning dilemma. How do I know I am unmistakably hearing God's call?
How do I know for SURE when I am following His will correctly.
From a young age I've been taught, "Where God guides, He provides."
I firmly belive this beacause when we know God wants us to be somewhere or make certain decisions, regardless of how difficult the challenges ahead, we know He is with us because He guided us here from the start.
So I am steuggling as of late to know that He clearly wants me where my heart wants to be. But I can't be guided by my heart, but rather The Spirit.
From childhood we were raised to believe in God. But living for God and with God is completely different than knowing of Him. Living for God comes with infinite beauty and unending love that can only be known from relationship and word. By following His ways and LIVING in the Bible. By seeing others as God sees them. By remaining pateint, even when you do not feel His presence, by loving those who do not love you in return. By remaining humble and kind. Just as we are told in James 4:6 {God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.}
I'd love to hear any of your thoughts on how to hear God or any of your beautiful testimonies.
I am continuing to pray and await to know how God will help guide me in the next season of my life.
Blessings to you all
Nicole Grace
